My dad and I used to exchange long letters years ago. His longest letters were when he went to Union Theological Seminary (affiliated with Columbia University in New York City).
One snowy February day, Dad took the train from White Plains, New York into New York, only to find that school had been called off for the day. It turned out to be a blizzard that was talked about for years. (For anyone keeping notes, it was February 6, 1978. Anyone remember the blizzard?) He managed to get a seat on one of the few trains back out of New York City that day. While on the train, he wrote me a nine-page letter. This recipe was included near the end of it; it was from that day's New York Times.
Elephant Stew
One large elephant
Salt & pepper to taste
Brown gravy
2 rabbits, optional
Cut elephant into bite size pieces. This should take about two months. Add brown gravy to cover & salt & pepper. Cook over a kerosene fire for about four weeks at 465 degrees.
This is sufficient to serve 3,800 people. If more guests are expected, two rabbits may be added, but do this only if necessary, as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.
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